by - 3:34 am


I still cannot believe that I am going to be a mom. And time is passing so quickly, it excites and scares me at the same time.

It started feeling real from #20weeks when I felt the first baby kick that felt like a water wave in my tummy and sudden rumbling as if my stomach is aggressively hungry. I was always wondering how does mothers connect with their babies and I felt so bad when I did not feel any connection but just external physical tiredness.

Now the kicks and the movements in the tummy are more apparent but of course, it still feels weird and funny in many ways. Sometimes it is uncomfortable, sometimes it is funny and many times, it just makes me feel like "oooo ooh! that's... interesting."

I am a woman with no boundaries for imagination. I love to imagine how my son will be like and what kind of mom will I become.

Will he love working out like me? Will he grow up and be proud to go to the gym with his mom? Will he enjoy eating all kinds of food like his parents? Will he look like me or papa more? Will he have my nose and papa's manly features? What kind of sports will he enjoy doing? Will he look after me and papa when he grows up? Will he be a good big brother to his future younger siblings?

And of course, those were the happier fantasies.... There are worrying thoughts like:

When he is a baby, will he wake up in the middle of the night and cry? Will he sleep soundly throughout the night cos mama isn't a night person? Will he drink enough milk? Will I produce enough breastmilk to feed him? Will he be a happy and forgiving baby?

I am always happy and excited to speak to mom-to-be(s) as I feel less lonely and know that there are people going through this interesting journey with me. It is always great to learn and hear their experiences and stories. After all, every mothers journey is different. I only got so much more to learn :)

3 more days to the next baby check-up! Can't wait to see you baby boy!

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